Empowered on Paper, Invisible at Home: The Hypocrisy of Everyday Feminism

I never thought I would be writing a blog on such a "normal" topic but conversations with my family and friends have compelled me to write this blog.

In recent years "women empowerment" has been prominent in almost every field of study and work but are women really empowered?

I was playing with the kids in my neighborhood when I heard one of the old aunties say "meri bahu ka kaam he kya hota hai" (what work does my daughter in law anyway have?)

Her "bahu" is a working mother of two kids. 

My "feminism" (that many other people exaggerate with platitudes) couldn't be fine with it, so I went to confront the aunty.
 "But aunty, I see her making breakfast for the kids and husband, attend to calls, make tea for you in the evening"(and with that, pretend to not care about everyday taunts and tantrums).

Aunty goes "Well that's just how it is, am I not right?"

ABSOLUTELY NOT, I say. I ask her, "then what work do you do all day? others feel you do nothing either. Her face becomes pale. I ask her about her own daughter, within a second, she starts blabbering "oh she works a lot, my laadli dear girl has to do so much work all day bla-bla-bla". (WHAT WORK??? THE SAME WORK YOUR DAUGHTER-IN-LAW DOES, RIGHT? NOTHING?). 

I first learnt the meaning of "disguised employment" when I was in 10th grade. It means a person who works, but his or her work is not acknowledged.

 We often feel that women in the house don't have any work just because she is in the house all day.

Maybe taunting women in earlier days was justified because they weren't given any freedom to work and have a job so even marrying them would be a favor.

But now, in the 21st century when everybody is a (fake)advocate for women empowerment, it is not at all fair to render a mother's, wife's, daughter-in-law's work as useless or little to nothing.

It is satirically ironic how women say such things to women itself. There have been made movies, music, poems, books about the struggle for freedom of women. But here, as long as a woman is not earning more than a man, she will only be seen as a maid who doesn't do anything, ever. 

Allow me to take this opportunity to also discuss about how social media has made a joke of feminism.

I see my male-friends forwarding memes like "Women belong in the kitchen" etc. And due to the patriarchal setup, small kids (including girls) who want to impress and make their spot into the mainstream media FULLY support such memes where women are regarded as petty tools to make men's life easier. 

This trend has emerged as the modern, Gen-Z style of degrading women on a daily basis.

Maybe when Gen Alphas or Betas, and the subsequent generations become "old aunties", there won't exist such evening conversations where they demean their bahu's work. 

We should realize how the women in our lives handle and cater to everybody's needs despite hers not being fulfilled... And how females are exposed to soft criticism as soon as they enter late teen. 

We shouldn't preach about feminism and empowerment when it is not practiced in our homes first. It is high time we stop being pretentious and act "educated" just to please others but not actually respecting the ladies that exist in our lives.